5 Things I've Learned in Grad School

I have finally finished my first full week of Graduate School and, boy, is my head spinning. Insanely, I opted to take on my program's intensive track, leaving me with a nice, round, 16-credit/ 7 class schedule this fall. Why this option doesn't come with a psychological fitness examination is beyond me. So, while drowning in the misery brought on by this horrible week, I will attempt to focus on the positive: my education.

I present... 5 Things I've Learned in Grad School (so far)

5. You don't have time for the drama.
Unlike some of your old classmates from your undergraduate institution, you have things to do. Since you're not busy living at your parents' house and working in retail, you just don't have the time to type up unnecessarily snide and mean-spirited notes, like they do. It's a hard job, but someone has to grow up and take the high road. Take heart in the fact that, while they're building up their bad karma, you'll be collecting nice, fat cosmic paychecks in no time. Hopefully, some literal paychecks will turn up, too.

4. Always lend a helping hand.
I know, I know, this one sounds too precious to be legit. But it is, I promise you! Offering help can lead to some pretty great things. Namely: friendship. I learned this my second day of class. While walking to my 10AM Voice Disorders course, I saw a girl struggling with the door to the building our class was in. Having made this mistake myself this summer, I stopped and informed her of the wackiness of this building's configuration: In order to get to our "building", we had to enter through the "building" connected to it and navigate down a through-way to the elevator bank that serviced "our building". Why the doors to the place we need to go are constantly locked is a mystery, but from then on out I had a buddy. Another bonus: making one new friend almost always ensures that others come with it! Which leads to my next discovery...

3. Happy Hour was invented for a reason.
BOOZING.

Ok, so that's a part of it, but not why it's important. Happy Hour is a great excuse to take a break from all that education. Its also the perfect casual environment to meet new people and get to know others better. Plus, drinks are half off. Talk about a deal! My university's Graduate Student Organization held a Happy Hour Social last week where I got a nice opportunity to meet a few new first year grads, as well as pick the brain of my program mentor. It got me really excited for my program and I felt like I really 'clicked' with many of my peers. This week a few of my "Speechie" friends and I gathered at one of my favorite little places, Rue B, for half off drinks and appetizers. So delicious, so cathartic, so wallet-friendly. If you aren't using Happy Hour to your advantage, I encourage you to hop on this train. Your brain and your social life will thank you.

2. Go out on a limb.
Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in all the work and getting that perfect grade. Yes, we're all already freaking out about it. No, its not going to stop. But it doesn't have to be the only thing in your life. You can take a chunk of that "study time" you're using (on Facebook) and join a club. I did, and so far it has been a great little reward for getting through my busy Wednesday schedule. After my intense hump day, I head over to one of my professor's apartments and meet a group of ten other students (ranging from undergraduates to doctoral candidates) to sing. Its undoubtedly a tiny, sort-of-unorganized gathering, but we sound pretty darn good after two rehearsals. It reminded me how much I missed singing in a group and definitely brought on some strong memories from my "Top 21" days. It puts a positive spin on my day and still leaves me with enough time to read, take notes, analyze, write, and grade grub.

1. Persevere. Persevere. Persevere.
I knew taking this step in my education would be far from a casual stroll in the park, but I thought I would have some kind of map or crack-spirit guide to accompany me on the journey. Not so. I've come to the bitter realization that I'm wandering alone in the Forbidden Forest of my master's program. I'm pretty much lost in regards to every aspect of my enrollment. What is my course plan for the next two years? Why don't my professors answer e-mails? Where can I get a quesadilla?

(Ok, that last one was a joke, but someone really asked that in one of my lab sessions last week when our TA opened the floor for questions. Can't knock her comedic timing.)

Lately I've felt completely out of step with myself. I've gone from feeling like I have zero information on pretty much anything to do with my program, to feeling overwhelmed by being doused with important needed-to-know-this-yesterday information at the last minute. It's a lot for someone like me (read: type A) to handle. I like to have all my ducks in a row, and right now... this is what my ducks are doing:

HOWEVER, "persevere, persevere, persevere" is the motto that's going to get me through this (even though I swore to Nazlı that it was "It's five o'clock somewhere"). Even though I'm lost in the woods, there's a path in there just waiting for me to stumble upon it. If I have to do it completely alone, so be it. That's life. It might be fun. It might make me lighten up a bit. It might be... anything.

Persevere, persevere, persevere

It's "See you later"...

This weekend my family made the decision to put our dog, Maggie, to sleep. My family spent all day Friday laying with her in our basement, trying to make her as comfortable as they could, and hoping that she would pass on her own. She made it through the night, however, and was in such poor shape Saturday morning they decided that visiting the vet was the best thing to do. I was pretty devastated that I couldn't be there to see her out, but I'm happy that she had the rest of my loving family there with her in her final moments.

They buried her under one of the big pine trees in our backyard ("her" tree, as we've grown to call it), and surrounded her with some of her favorite toys and blanket. My mom found a really nice headstone for her, and my younger brother took care making the spot very special. Being away from home was downright horrible, but they made a great effort to include me with pictures and phone calls.

While I lost one dear friend, I'm thankful for another who did everything right helping me deal with my grief that day. Nazlı came straight to my apartment after work toting a dozen pink mini-cupcakes. We ate oatmeal and sat around. It was good not to be alone. When I was ready, she let me pull out some old photos I had of Maggie through the years and listened to some favorite memories of mine I felt compelled to share. It was nice to remember the Christmas we received that tiny white puppy in the big red box, opened last of all our presents that morning. It was fun to laugh at the "reindeer poop" that covered my brother's gifts that day (Mom and Dad-- big snafu there!), and how I thought I'd received a kitten named "Magic" (I was overwhelmed with joy-ok?).

Look at how tiny she was! 

Nazlı listened, didn't push me to "feel my feelings", and brought desserts. These acts of friendship were simple, but so powerful. Maybe even more than she knew. I realized that being there for someone isn't quite the big complex gesture we sometimes think it is, and that this kind of support can be overwhelming in times of grief. Nazlı's simple friendship was my greatest comfort that day. I wish for all of you to have a friend like this.

Day two of knowing we are pet-less has been weird for a few reasons. Mostly because it feels like a bad dream; I feel removed mentally from the situation as well as physically. I haven't experienced the weird quiet in my childhood home like the rest of my family has. I don't know what that is going to be like. I guess I will find out soon enough.

But, adding to the weirdness, my mom frantically texted me this morning with the following message:

"I was just sitting in Maggie's chair in the kitchen crying with my head down... when I raised it and looked out the window... the next pics are what I saw!"

At first glance my heart stopped. I thought it was Maggie running down from her tree to bound through the back door. Then I realized, as I'm sure you have, that it was a cat. A pure white cat taking her place. I called my mom immediately and she went on to describe how the cat had come down through Maggie's path, turned, and headed up to Maggie's grave under the pine, and sat there. My Dad had even called out a hopeful "Maggie!", just because it was so supernatural. The cat, who none of us had ever seen in the neighborhood before, stood and exited our yard through our back fence (through which Mags had escaped many times). 

This event has been strangely comforting to me all day. I don't know what it means, but I believe it means something good. 

Rest in peace, Maggie. You were an extraordinary member of the family. I'm glad I got to see you as your perky self before you went. This was, perhaps, the greatest of all the gifts you have ever given me. Thank you for being strong for me and making our last moments together so joyous. You will be sorely missed but never, ever forgotten. Love and belly rubs. 

Many heartfelt thank you's to all friends and family who have expressed their condolences over the past few days. Your love and support make it easier to focus on her life and what she added to my family, rather than the sadness that accompanies her passing.

As my second week of graduate school approaches, I'll keep the joy and positive thoughts you've shared with me close to my heart and hang on.

Sweet, sweet victory

Pack up your whites, folks, because Summer is over. Another Labor Day has come and gone, and now we have cool and cozy Autumn to look forward to. As always, I'm one step ahead and have been burning my "Pumpkin Caramel Latte" and "Spiced Apple Cider" candles for about a week now. I absolutely adore Fall, with its crisp weather and flavors, and intend to draw this year's out for as long as I can.

That being said, I was determined to pay Summer its final respect at our informal Labor Day picnic in Central Park this year. I needed to come up with an easy travel dessert (no one likes carrying crushed creations from the subway) that embodied sweet Summertime, and settled my sights on chocolate chip zucchini bread. Zucchini is one of my favorite veggies, and I'm bummed that I didn't eat more of it this season. What a perfect time to play catch up! This loaf definitely has 'dessert' written all over it when you toss in those chocolatey morsels, and the zucchini can be your excuse to lose all that goody-guilt and indulge. Plus, this was a great chance for me to tackle my nemesis: bread.

OK, so its not your classic bread, but you've got to win some battles before you can win the war.

And boy-- did I win! Its safe to say this baby was to-die-for delicious, and still warm when I sat down to nosh with my friends at the Bethesda fountain (I'll be sure to inclue the recipe for all you bakers at the end of this post, you do not want to miss this).

Happy Labor Day!

My dear friend Nazlı brought some yummy pasta salad chock-full of goodies like tomatoes, green olives, pinto beans, and black-eyed peas, to name a few. Finger's crossed she'll post the recipe on her blog, Good Food for Good Soul, and we can all steal it. She was also smart enough to bring plastic bowls and spoons for all of us to use, while I toted some wimpy napkins and a prayer to assist in the serving of my contribution. You see why I need her, right? 

Our party was completed when Andy showed up with the wine, and the three of us enjoyed the breezy afternoon on our blanket. That was until wrestle-mania began just inches from our spot. No, really.

"You wanna tussle?"

We were not amused. And their caretaker was not concerned. Kids.

While it did cause quite the disturbance, it gave us some pretty good laughs and inspired Nazlı to follow through on her Caramel Apple Onion prank. Note to self: accept no treats from this girl.

All in all, I spent Summer's last hurrah just the way I like to spend my days: with good food and even better friends. It was a greatly appreciated and satisfying end to one of the most whirlwind summers of my life, and I look forward to jumping into Autumn in the same manner.

As promised, here's your new favorite recipe. Victory is sweet, y'all.

Bon Appetit!

Chocolate Chip Zucchini Bread
Ingredients:

2 cups whole wheat flour
2 tbsp unsweetened cocoa
1 1/4 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp salt
3/4 cup sugar
3 tbsp vegetable oil
2 eggs
1 cup unsweetened applesauce (this recipe has enough sugar; trust me, you do not miss out on flavor with the unsweetened variety)
1 1/2 cups finely shredded zucchini (use your food processor for an extra time saver!)
1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Instructions:
1. Preheat oven to 350F. In a medium bowl, combine flour, cocoa, baking soda, cinnamon, and salt, whisking together until well mixed.
2. In a large bowl, combine sugar, vegetable oil, and eggs until thoroughly blended. Stir in your applesauce.
3. Add the flour mixture to the sugar mixture, blending just until smooth, and stir in zucchini and chocolate chips.
4. Spray a 9 x 5 inch loaf pan with cooking spray, and spoon in batter. Bake for 45-60 minutes, or until a wooden toothpick can be removed cleanly from the center. Cool for 10 minutes in the pan, then remove and cool completely on a wire cooling rack.